MELINDA: Hello?
PEGGY: Melinda! You've got to help me! My vagina's on fire!
MELINDA: Oh, what was his name?
PEGGY: Greg. I mean, it must have been him. He's been the only one in months.
MELINDA: You slut!
PEGGY: I know! But what do I do now?
MELINDA: When are you going to see him again?
PEGGY: We have another date tonight but...
MELINDA: Well, I'm sure he'll put the fire out.
PEGGY: Do you think he knows how?
MELINDA: Well, he's the one who started it. I should hope so.
PEGGY: Do you think he has a cream or something?
MELINDA: Creams are fine, I suppose. But I prefer just straight lube.
PEGGY: Will lube help?
MELINDA: Well it depends.
PEGGY: On what?
MELINDA: Whether or not you, well...you can grease the wheels on your own.
PEGGY: We were talking about cream. Now there are wheels in play?
MELINDA: Sounds fun to me! You minx!
PEGGY: This is too complicated. What do I do about the discharge though?
MELINDA: You wait.
PEGGY: For what?
MELINDA: Until it comes through. When you have yourself a uniform you hold onto it.
PEGGY: I don't know about how uniform it is, but the discharge is coming through as we speak. I think people are starting to notice. Between the color and the...
MELINDA: The discharge has come through already?
PEGGY: I think so. I'm afraid to look. But it smells like I've opened my own fishery.
MELINDA: I thought you were working accounts receivable...
PEGGY: I am.
MELINDA: You're confusing me babe. Oh, did I tell you I caught the clap again?
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