President: Failed deity, hyperbole enthusiast
Vice President: Failed tycoon, sociopath
Senator: Failed executive, sexual deviant
Representative: Hoping no one asks any questions
CIA Agent: Failed Tom Clancy character, black duster enthusiast
FBI Agent: Failed CIA agent, Agent Scully enthusiast
Police Officer: Failed FBI Agent, hate fuck junky
Fire Fighter: Failed arsonist
Teacher: Failed doer
Physical Education Teacher: Failed teacher
University Professor: Failed doer and pretentious about it
Feminist Litigator and Activist: Member of first wives club, ugly man-hating cunt
Pundit (Overall): Failed political analyst, attention whore
Pundit (Newscorp): Failed political analyst, attention whore, former tabloid journalist, clinically insane
Clergy: Delusional glutton for punishment
Catholic Clergy: White robe enthusiast, lazy pederast
Physician: Morphine addict
Psychiatrist (Male): Failed Physician, elderly, European, cigar and Van Dyke enthusiast
Psychiatrist (Female): Lorraine Bracco enthusiast
Satirist: Failed philosopher, pleased with self
Web Based Satirist: Suicidal
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